My name is Cess Gitau.

Ever since I realized I was expectant with my daughter I was filled with so much joy and happiness. I had such a smooth pregnancy Period. No nausea, no pressure nothing. It was so enjoyable such that I worked till the last day.

I couldn’t wait to hold my little princess.  When I finally gave birth and the doctors congratulated me, I had mixed reactions. All of a sudden the joy I felt earlier on disappeared. I was not excited neither was I sad. It’s like I was on another different world. Having laboured for 12 hours I ended up in the theatre something that I had not planned for. (All along I knew I was going to do a vaginal birth) I was traumatized. While at the hospital my baby could cry and being a first time mom I was totally oblivious on what to do… Sometimes she could cry and have a hoarse voice. My nights were nightmares.

Fast forward we were discharged. At home, I thought things would be better but to my knowledge it became worse. The cries, long nights of interrupted sleep, cracked nipples, cesarean wound, the after pains were just too much for Me. I used to cry a lot.

Then I was always tired. I used to have visitors all day and no sleep at night. Then it reached a point my brain couldn’t take it anymore eclampsia hit me, I went blind, I started convulsing, I lost my mind, I forgot I had a baby, I kept asking if I had a baby and what her name was…Then I was sedated.

I thank God I was taken to the hospital at the right time. They said I had eclampsia also known as maternal hypertensive disorder. Postpartum depression is real. Doctors had ran a series of test including CT scanning my head but they found nothing until they discovered I was actually depressed and gave treatment.After being discharged I gained a lot of support from my husband and close family friends. At least I never felt overwhelmed as I was initially.  I thank God for them.